Life Blog

Joy in the Unpredictable

It is said that life is a journey. A journey into unknowns; things that can excite you, bring joy, invoke sadness, elicit love, and create happiness. I have found over the years that my journey has been filled with many of these things, but mostly it has been unpredictable, no matter how much I have planned (and if you know me you know I like consistency and plans). My mercurial life began after my parents divorce. I spent years aiming for perfection to ease the anxiety I felt. After graduating high school I quickly got married, started college, and spent many years in uncertainty. Questions arose often; What was I doing with my life? Why am I staying in an unhappy abusive marriage? How have all my life plans gone so wrong? So, at the age of 24 I divorced, got my life going in a direction that was best for me, stopped stressing about this illustrious “life plan”, and began enjoying the unpredictability in life — and here I am today, 10 years later, enjoying (most days, haha) the chaos of my beautiful ever changing life. 

It has been a year since I have updated on where we are today in regards to life, raising a child, and finding some new lungs for Scott, so I will fill you in! First, I would like to say that life is wonderful and messy at the moment, emphasis on wonderful. In January of this year we discovered that Scott was becoming immune to a few oral and IV antibiotics, and since he is on them every two weeks this became a bit of a concern for us. We spoke with Stanford doctors and because his Lung Allocation Score, or LAS, (this is what determines your priority on the transplant list) was not where it should be Scott might still have 1+ years to wait. This was not acceptable to us and we began to look for an alternative option and we found that in Phoenix, Arizona. So with the flip of a switch we began planning for our move; we bought a beautiful house on 1.25 acres (I’ve always wanted a mini farm!), packed all our belongings, and drove to Arizona. We literally picked up our lives and moved, talk about unpredictable! Definitely an anxious time in my life, but I held firm to the knowledge that God always has a plan, even if it is not clear to me. 
So what has life in AZ looked like for us? The first priority was getting Scott taken care of; medications,  new health insurance, and a CF center for him to be cared for at (he was on IV antibiotics two weeks after we moved, so this was very important). Then decorating the house, which of course was my favorite, and getting everyone comfortable with the new space. Seeley spent many hours outside digging in the dirt and I finished up teaching the semester online and began battling some of my own health issues (more on this in the future). Over the last month, we have begun the process of getting Scott on the transplant list here, although with Covid still running rampant we might put it on hold for a bit, but who knows. We really can’t plan for the unknown can we?! We also added a new member to the family, Pickles, our adorable bunny, and have been trying to figure out what to do with our backyard — I think I will be needing a few more animals…
What about you? How is life going? Hopefully you have been able to embrace the chaos in your life and find the beauty in the moments. 
Breathing in the joy found in unpredictability,
💕 Ashley