Christmas is a time filled with love, happiness, and family. It’s a time to relax and reminisce. Christmas always brings about a child like joy in me. Scott and I LOVE this season and are very much those crazy Christmas people; 4 trees, lots of lights, matching pajamas, cookies. We go all out and thoroughly enjoy sharing this magical holiday with our little guy.
Sadly, this is not how I feel today. Today I feel frustrated, sad, and lonely. In my house, Christmas has been postponed. Why? Because of CF. Scott is stuck in the hospital with an unknown release date (hopefully soon!). This disease has been the product of many lows for our family this year. Out of 12 months, Scott has been hospitalized 11 times this year. That’s a lot! Each hospitalization is at least 4-5 days and is followed by 10+ days of IV antibiotics. So he has pretty much been on an IV drip for 22+ weeks this year, almost half. Of course this doesn’t include his multiple surgeries, port flushes, doctors appointments, and all the other tests (he just recently found out he has osteoporosis). I don’t know how he does it. I don’t know how I do it. Let’s just say it isn’t always easy.
Luckily the Christmas spirt is a feeling, a feeling that doesn’t depend on a specific day, but rather one that we can call upon when Scott is home again. I am thankful that Seeley is young enough to not understand what day it truly is, and thankful that our family members are so flexible. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and pray that you have been able to spend it with those you love. Be grateful for these moments. And for all those who are missing their loved one during this holiday season, know that you are not alone. We are strong, we are appreciated, and we are loved by a big God! Trust in Him!
Here’s to a Healthy and Happy New Year as we gear up for transplant (more about this not so great Christmas news Scott received when I have been able to process it a bit more)!
Breathing in God’s strength,